NaziBroZ 2: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love my Bro.
Trigger Warnings * Racism * Sexism * Ear Rape * Autism * Legitimate Rape * Abduction * Nazi Propaganda * Sonic NaziBroZ 2: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love my Bro, is the second entry in the NaziBroZ series. Directed, written and produced by Alex. The film is a direct sequel to NaziBroZ: The Last. This page contains a detailed transcript of the film and therefore contains spoilers. Transcript Scene One The very first scene of NaziBroZ 2 is also the most cryptic. The first frame features the logos for Poundland, Tesco, Aldi, Farmfoods and Brazzers. These logos spin around for several seconds as a child is heard screaming "Oh, oh my god!" in the background and Walle appears in spirit form to wink. The scene seems to be related to Autism, if the background music is any indication. Also featured is Snoop Dogg in spirit form and several MLG Network logos that aren't worth mentioning because, let's face it, they mean fuck all. Oh and Shrek. This scene is a mess, just like this synopsis. Scene Two The second scene of NaziBroZ 2 shows Ben recording a let's play in Minecraft for his shitty YouTube channel. He plays under the nickname Gaben69. Ben jumps up from his couch when he hears "some faggot at the door". Moments later Jack Higgins bursts through the door with some kind of explosive sledgehammer. A member of the Illuminati runs across the hallway. Jack opens with his signature line, "Right i'll tell you what you fat little cunt." and Ben's face (Alex's editing) suggests that Ben is about to be rekt. Jack continues with his tirade, "You're borin', you don't sound Nigerian at all..." and at some point slips in a subtle "U wot m8?". Ben knows he is in danger and activates his Sanic Speed to escape from Jack. After some time we see Jack sneaking around Ben's house. He is allegedly "Swiggity swooty, cumin for dat booty." It appears Jack is intent on molesting Ben. Some bullshit music plays and MLG Logos spin round, but nobody really gives a shit. Also this appears to being broadcast on the WWE Network. The scene is suddenly interrupted by Richard Dawkins who says, "Die faggot" before fading into nothingness. While Jack is distracted by Richard, Ben is able to pull off a surprise Intervention shot for 6x damage, knocking Jack to the floor. A fight breaks out between the two and fans can be heard cheering while horns honk and music builds. As Turn Down for What reaches it's climax Jack beats Ben's head into a lamp and throws him to the floor. The sound of Autsim is briefly heard. Jack appears to rape Ben, although we cannot be certain as the scene was censored by SJWs. The scene skips to Jack throwing Ben through a window, killing him instantly. Testimonies were given by Ben's closest friends and worst critics. "Goodnite sweet prinse." - Shaq "My name is Ben suck my meaty cock." - James, Ben's Autistic Brother who seems to think he is Ben. "He onli wonted 2 mak ppl hapy :'(" - Jay's Mum "Get rekt u litl fag." - Graham Astley "Such a waste of life..." - IGN "Why am I being made to watch this fucking movie?" - Schofield's Galdem "Best quickscoper in all of Yorkshire." - Schofield's Sister "He shit on Shaq's dick." - Hubert "He lost to fucking Jack Faggins? Little bitch," - Euan Walters "Most of the Alpha Male copypasta." - Fuck you Alex "Shut the fuck up you little cunt i'll cut out your Adams apple and piss in your throat ti you choke." - Dylan It is worth noting that despite this massive obituary, Ben is coming back because Alex has no restraint. A filthy Muslim is watching Ben's death on some weird tablet, he demands that cunts praise Allah and then attaches a fleshlight to his tablet, presumably to fuck Ben with it. Scene Three The third scene opens on an unknown street within Nell Lane Estate at night. Jay Carroll is walking towards an alley. An unknown black man leaps in front of him and shoots.... The audience?... I don't get it. Anyway Jay meets Kacper the Friendly Foreigner in the alley and the two have an argument about who exactly EXPUNGED belongs to. Also seen is an Illuminati symbol. Jay draws a baton while Kacper stands ready with a knife. It seems the two are about to enter mortal combat over some EXPUNGED girl who has never been in the movies and really doesn't seem important enough for a newly introduced character to die for. The two run at each other in slow motion and then in fast motion, which turns out to be just regular speed, crazy right? Anyway the two slash at each other for way to long before pausing dramatically, only to enter combat again. Kacper delivers a minor wound to Jay. The scene is actually pretty cool, but it drags on for way too long, which is the fault of the original copyright holder and not Alex. Some of these knife movements are pointless though, like the spinning air slash, it took way too long and obviously got blocked. Who is this kid trying to fool, he's obviously a pretty shit Shinigami compared to Jay. Some cool counter stuff happens and Jay gets a hit-marker. They pause for dramatic effect again and people start shouting. When the two clash once again they do more stupid sparring and... Wait is this kid a spastic or something? Just watch his body movements, he isn't even fighting he's just having a retard fit. His left arm waves all over the place and looks like it's fighting a completely different fight. This is one of the stupidest things I've ever seen. Jay delivers a brutal beat down on this poor spastic, who then finally uses his left hand to swing at Jay with a knife, but he is blocked by Jay's dumb baton. While struggling for his life Kacper recites the Navy Seal Copypasta that he used to win over EXPUNGED. It has no effect on Jay who slaps the shit out of him, breaks his arm and then shanks him with his own knife. Kacper doesn't seem to bleed blood, but instead some kind of spaghetti sauce. Jay declares that EXPUNGED is his before killing Kacper. EXPUNGED's face is seen for the first time in the film as she appears in Kacper's dying thoughts. Turns out she's ugly anyway so that entire scene feels kinda pointless. Plus Jay will just die again soon so who really cares. Scene Four Thousands of Nazi troops march in formation as Hitler delivers a speech. Oh wait... This is a montage. Basically we're gonna see a bunch of assorted clips from WW2. Most of it features the Nazis and is kinda just filler and holy shit this was the intro. NaziBroZ 2 appears in giant fucking letters to let us know that the movie hadn't even started until now. Fuck you Alex. Also why does this last so fucking long? Scene Five The scene opens in Hitler's Fuhrer Bunker. Hitler is asked by his wife if his neck feels better after his fight with Schofield. She continues to be a pandering slut by praising his elimination of Alex and The Diddler. Hitler is unhappy and says it is too early to celebrate. Hitler comments on the state of the universe and appears concerned on account of faggots constantly coming back to life, lightsabers and divine intervention. Eva somehow gets away with calling the Fuhrer a silly faggot and suggests that no one could oppose the Nazis now. Hitler laughs and comments on Ben's fate, which one is unclear. Eva finds semen on Hitler's uniform and warns him against taking Ben and James at the same time in the future. Hitler clears up her misunderstanding and tells the real story. Hitler says he was in the shower washing himself when Jay Carroll bursts in, crying his eyes out, chode in hand, jerking it like a monkey jerks a banana and before Hitler knew it he was drenched in semen. Some noise that is too fucked up to comprehend alerts Hitler and his harem. Then some dude closes a door. Scene Six Hitler walks into his office and asks his subordinates who is calling so late at night, just before the party is due to start. Some blonde dude (Who is actually Shaq) tells the Fuhrer that the call is very important. The caller will not give his name. Hitler reluctantly answers the phone, only to find it is Jack Higgins quoting his signature line once again. "Tell you what you fat little cunt, you're boring, you don't sound Nigerian at all, so go fuck yourself. Go crawl into the dirty dark little hole where you fucking come from you dirty dragon eating little spastic." Hilter is furious and threatens to skullfuck Jack is he calls again. The phone rings again and Jack continues. "Alright the dragon comment was probably a little over the fucking top, but at the end of the day you're fucking boring" Hitler asks Jack if he hasn't got anything better to do than call his bunker. Jack continues. "Do you honestly think you're fucking funny, fucking with my friends? Seriously, you're an ugly little cunt mate and if I ever see you I'm gonna fucking slit your fucking-" The scene ends suddenly. Scene Seven Gaben is training Schofield in an unknown location. Schofield has learned to bury his guilt with anger, but Gaben means to make him confront it and face the truth. Gaben says that Schofield could learn to engage six hundred men at once and he could learn to become truly invisible. Schofield begins sparring with Gaben. Schofield is taught about ninja shit by Gaben during a montage that is pretty dull. Gaben explains Ninjutsu, but that's also dull. There is a dirty console peasant locked in a cage. Gaben means to deliver justice to the peasant. Gaben says that Alex's death wasn't Schofield's fault, but rather his fathers. THIS WAS FORESHADOWING. The sparring continues. Gaben teaches Schofield about the will to act, something his father supposedly lacks. Gaben absolutely destroys Schofield by breaking some ice. As Schofield talks about his father we see a picture of him and Alex standing with their father, Danny Layton. Also featured in the photo is Sakura because Alex is lazy. Gaben explains his backstory, no one cares. Scene Eight A party is taking place in Berlin, in Hitler's bunker. Darude Sandstorm is playing so loud that the subtitles got rekt. Basically nothing happens, but Darude is fun so that's okay. Jay appears with his illuminati emblem, looking sad about some EXPUNGED girl again. Some faggot turns of Darude because bombs are dropping, but Eva demands more Darude and it starts playing again. We hear ISIS screaming Allahu Akbar as an explosion brings the walls of the bunker down. The music of the caliphate drowns out all instances of Darude. Scene Nine Yoko Littner, I mean me, I mean Danny Layton appears on screen and dances to a 10/10 song with some cool backgrounds that I'm sure Alex made himself. He starts to life his shirt, but a jump cut ruins everything. You know despite my face being plastered allow over it and the appearance of Gaben, this scene is still pretty hot. Alex didn't even bother putting my face over some parts. So yeah 10/10 best scene in the film. Scene Ten So apparently Scene Nine was actually Danny's Drop it no Jutsu. Danny used the Justu to seduce Alex in the after life, apparently it didn't work though because Alex is gay and doesn't watch anime. Anyway Danny asks Alex if he likes what he has done with the afterlife, Alex mumbles something inaudible. Danny allegedly already knows he is gonna beat Alex, so he plans to enjoy himself. The fight begins as the two clash in slow-mo and then the scene cuts to Hitler's Mansion. Scene Eleven Hitler is complaining about the influence of Allah BigDadhi so close to Berlin. Some fag warns Hitler that Schofield blames him for the death of Alex and all his other misfortune. The fag believes Schofield could be a threat to the Third Reich. He suggests an offensive on Schofield, but Hitler is worried by rumours that Schofield now has the Eternal Mangekyou Sharingan. Hitler is worried by Schofield's new power. Hitler demands they wake Jay Carroll to have him put a stop to Schofield. Scene Twelve Jay is dreaming of EXPUNGED as some Nazis burst into his room, scaring some random whore. Jay is commanded to wake up and kill Schofield as a show of loyalty to Hitler. Jay shrugs them off, but Hitler's men take action and prepare to rape Jay who screams for EXPUNGED. Scene Thirteen Hitler appears and preaches from Snoop Dogg's gospel. Jack Higgins stands silent. Shaq stands silent as well, only there because she demanded to star in the film. The three face each other and for fucks sake this audio is terrible... Anyway The Quickscoper Jack, The Bisnitch Shaq and Hitler The Fuhrer are all gonna duel now. The sound of Autism is heard and Snoop Dogg's spirit watches with excitement. Hitler quickscopes Jack and Shaq struggles to ready her weapon, but because she is so shit at quickscoping she dies. The credits roll and Alex claims to be done with the film. Unfortunately Alex was lying and the film continues. Hitler stands over a dying Jack, taunting him and then trickshots him into a grave. Hitler then accidentally shoots Euan and PewDiePie is horrified. James screams for mum to get the camera, but it is too late, Euan is dead. Walle is impressed and Shrek starts spewing Autism. Scene Fourteen Danny and Alex clash in the afterlife again. My hand really hurts from this typing, why am I even watching this. Lots of cool shit happens. Danny sings You are my Friend ''and we clash in mid-air before Alex is thrown through a building. Then the scene cuts off. AGAIN! Scene Fifteen Hitler's Bunker again or some shit. Hubert and Dylan are present. Hitler and his faggot harem are playing Slender. This scene is actually fucking hilarious. Like it's the best thing Alex has done in a while. I'm not gonna transcribe it completely, just know there's a lot of great banter and it's the best scene besides Scene Nine. This isn't getting transcribed because you faggots should just watch it. A list of who is dead and alive is shown, but if you can't keep up fuck you because I'm not transcribing it. Just know that Schofield is Alive and hunting down Dylan. Also praise Allah you fucking cunts. Scene Sixteen Oh great another fight scene. Dylan is on his fat faggot throne and Schofag is about to rape him, let's go. Schofield throws a dildo which Dylan expertly kicks away. The two fight retard style with really shit audio for a little while before Dylan slams Schofield into a wall, triggering an edgy flashback. Something happens and Dylan and Jack are thrown, Schofield dies and comes back to life in the space of two seconds and Dylan's phone starts ringing. The phone call is from Hitler to warn Dylan about Schofield's attack. While Dylan is distracted Schofield fucks him up before flooring him and breaking his fingers. Dylan recovers only to be rekt by Schofield's flying kick and then he dies crashing into a bunch of glass. Hitler is mad. Scene Seventeen '''YOU ARE MY FRIEND ' Aa ano hi no yume Ima demo mada wasuretenain deshou YOU ARE MY DREAM Aa hajimatta bakka Kimi wa MY LONG LOST FRIEND Oh ima tabidatsu yo EVERYDAY kono saki no SHINING de I WANNA SEE YOU hikaru MY SOUL ON FIRE Kore de miosame no FUN DAYS TO BE THE FUTURE mezashi TAKE OVER Dakara I'LL DREAM ON I'LL GO THE DISTANCE Mihaterru sora SO FULL Norikonda STARTING Ore ga saikou no POWER, FULL TILT! YOU ARE MY FRIEND Aa ano hi no yume Ima demo mada wasuretenain deshou YOU ARE MY DREAM Aa hajimette bakka Kimi wa MY LONGEST FRIEND Whoa ima tabidatsu yo! THANK YOU MY FRIEND Aa ano hi no koto Ima demo mada oboeteru kara You ARE MY DREAM Aa mou kondo koso mamoru MY WAY Whoa THE DISTANCE Then a sad montage and Ainsley Harriot. Scene Eighteen I'm so sick of this shit... Ben is on Jeremy Kyle with his cousin and brother I guess. Also his brother is Coppercab or something... There's a shitty stripper model dancing so I can't read shit. Shots are fired and GREAT BANTER. End scene. Fuck this. Scene Nineteen It's the story of how I became Allah BigDadhi apparently. So I leave the Church of Ainsley in my wheelchair and the Twitch mods are after me because I... I don't know why. I score like twelve hundred hit-markers and get my 15th Wheelchair Service Star. Some bitch keeps talking, but I don't care I just keep driving in this next level cripple machine. For all it drags on this scene is pretty funny. Oh apparently I'm heading to Comic Con so I guess this makes more sense now. I'm surrounded by the Twitch mods and I put my Wheelchair into ludicrous speed. I get so edgy that I remove my helmet before going Sanic Speed. I collide with the truck carrying the famous whale Anita Sarkeesian and scream Allahu Akbar. That's how I ended up completely destroying London. Moving on. Scene Twenty In the present day Hitler is looking at plans for his quickscoping mansion. He speaks with Heir Hubert and discusses his plans for a peaceful society, despite how crazy he looks. It's a pretty boring scene. Jay asks Hitler for EXPUNGED's hand in marriage, but does not answer, he instead asks Hubert to buy him some time after he hears a shot from across the map. Scene Twenty One Some shit with Liam Neeson, Alex scales the audio to new shitty levels. Doesn't even need to be a scene. Scene Twenty Two Schofield is attempting to save EXPUNGED from... The Nazis I guess. Jay runs after him and tries to quickscope Schofield. ISIS chant in support of... Whoever. Suddenly Backstreet comes back, just in time to be the third funniest thing in the film. Schofield gets an achievement and then Battlefield 4 crashes. Snoop Dogg intervenes to fuck everything up, but he goes too far and summons Pinkie Pie who explodes like some kind of IED. IGN decides to review the scene while German Whip plays. They say the scene was top kek and had great banter, but it needed more German Whip and 9gag may mays. Overall IGN gave the scene a 6/10, bumped up from a 4/10 after Alex blew them in an alley. Big Man Tyrone grants Schofield the power to kill Samwell Tarly which I'll admit was fucking top kek. Alex confirms the new Mario Kart DLC and the Ghostbusters combine to give Schofield more power. Normally this would mean the end for Jay, but the Pedo Spirit of Rolf Harris grants Jay some of his semen which gives Jay more Chakra. Everything explodes I guess and then... Well you'll see. Scene Twenty Three God Bless America. 9/11 is pretty funny I guess. Oh my god a l33t montage, 4/20 Alex. FUCK YOU THIS SCENE IS POINTLESS. Unless 9/11 is key to the plot in the next film you can fuck right off with this fucking bullshit fucking scene where literally nothing happens. Oh wait, you used my burger image, never mind this scene was great. 9/11 #NeverForget Scene Twenty Four CRAWLING IN MY SKIN! Scene Twenty Five Oh good, back to the actual film. Hitler appears to be in the middle of blaming his failure and current situation on Hubert after the death of Jay Carroll. Hitler is tired of Hubert disappearing whenever it suits him (and the plot). It appears Hubert has ran off with Fegelein to join his harem. Hitler demands Hubert's return. Some random faggot appears and asks Hitler to confess to insulting Fegelein. Hitler is furious with Fegelein's harem and how fast it has grown. The random faggot leaves as Hitler is screaming "Faggotlein" over and over. Actually pretty funny. Well done Alex. Scene Twenty Six Hubert is being escorted by Nazis and is suddenly made to turn around. Jay Carroll is stood... Wait didn't Jay ''just ''die in an explosion? Anyway it doesn't really matter. Jay takes aim at Hubert who attempts to save himself by shouting "Heil Hitler". Jay shoots Hubert and he is killed. Scene Twenty Seven Hitler is on the phone with Skeletor to discuss reviving his harem with Alex's Rinnegan. Skeletor trolls Hitler with constant refusal and then Hitler get's mad. He starts walking away as his subordinates mention the secret weapon in the South after a pretty funny fourth wall joke. The subordinate then asks Hitler where the plot is going. Hitler channels Alex's spirit and says, "Up your arse mate." Scene Twenty Eight Oh look the afterlife again. Alex is lay in a pool of his own tears (allegedly) and Danny is towering over him. Alex is looking pretty rough and it seems like he's just been raped. Danny asks Alex why he does what he does and why he keeps fighting. Danny doesn't believe Alex is fighting for anything, he questions him over and over, even bringing up EXPUNGED. The rant was pretty cool, shame Alex didn't write it, but I feel like I definitely said it in this scene, pretty great job on my part. I didn't hear Alex's reply, it was probably dumb anyway. We start fighting again and through some Deus Ex Machina bullshit Alex manages to land a punch and then another that throws me into some debris. I of course come back from it and say some really cool shit before I kick Alex's ass for being a pussy whipped little bitch. I forget my lines because they were written by some faggot and I get all confused because I'm too good for this shit. After some really confusing Deus Ex Machina bullshit Alex dies, becomes me and then I explode. This shit isn't even Alex's fault. Whoever made the film Alex stole this from should be ashamed. Complete trash. Anyway i'm dead and Elton John performs at my funeral, which was attended only by my budgie and the fuck 'er right in the pussy guy. Scene Twenty Nine Jay is ranting about the loss of his EXPUNGED whore, he's been humiliated apparently, but no one cares because the best character in the film just died. Bad Dragon product placement laces the scene. Some fat guy tries to make peace with the Bros and Shaq tries to quickscope him, but misses. The scene transitions to Jay and Hitler receiving scout reports. Alex is confirmed to have been resurrected in a twist that surprised literally no one. EXPUNGED has not been found and Dylan is also dead. Jack Higgins is likely to come back to fuck with Hitler some more. Hitler is also told that he can't revive anyone else without first reviving Danny Layton. The rest of the scene is just stupid banter. Hitler says "This movie is fucking shit." and I agree. At least it looks like I'm getting resurrected. Scene Thirty This scene summarises the movie's plot. Alex and Schofield were reunited once more. I was dead. EXPUNGED was saved from Jay's dungeon. The Nazis were finally at a disadvantage. Everyone else besides Ben is dead, but wait it isn't over. Hitler had resurrected faggots before and surely it would happen yet again for the third film. And so despite everyone having died twice Alex decided to bring everyone back to fix the plot. BUT IS THIS EVEN THE END!? Scene Thirty One Fuck this scene. It amounts to EXPUNGEDXBen and EXPUNGEDXJames. Alex literally changed the name of a character here. Renaming Yodel to Jodi for no reason. It's just a bit of post film banter. Scene Thirty Two I wanted this scene, I am pleased with this scene despite the trigger warnings. Danny walks into a room and questions Jay on his virginity as Ben watches on. Danny demands Jay take of his clothes and as Ben (Reek) goes to leave Danny stops him and commands him to watch. Danny bends Jay over and diddles the fuck out of him while Ben has flashbacks to his castration. This is one of the better scenes in this mess of a film. Credits Don't get me wrong I love the series and I got a credit, but this is a fucking mess. Also Schofield didn't co-direct anything you just want him to rail you Alex so sit down. Anyway once the next film comes out there will just be more canon to fix and honestly I feel like I've wasted my time writing this. Fuck this. = = = = = Category:Main Category:God Tier